Dear Frank,

Do you remember that party we went to where we played that “two truths and a lie” game? I threw in that in my 60’s I had lived in a pup tent on the beach for a short while, and that one time I’d bounced through banana fields in the back of a pickup truck for hours to get from one foreign country to another. Everyone laughed. A few folks near me said there was no way they’d ever take on that kind of adventure.

But when I asked with more intention if they’d ever truly want to do something out of the box, most of them said yes—absolutely. We chatted about adventure in general and the things that hold us back. We talked about things we would love to do someday: 

• Take a solo road trip with no set plan— no reservations — just a map, some snacks, and an old playlist.
• Sign up for a class you know nothing about—just because it sounds a little scary. Will you do it well or will you flop?
• Go on a retreat here or abroad where you don’t know a soul. 

“I’m just not ready,” some said. “I need to get my confidence up. There’s so much I’d have to do to get ready—I mean, like, what would I do with my dog? My cat?  I’m just not there yet.”

Here’s what I keep thinking: By the time you feel completely ready, the ship has usually sailed, and you’re just standing on the dock, wondering what happened.

A thought:  the moment you decide to do something—whether it’s signing up for the Peace Corps long after your youth, opening a new bookshop, moving to a new country, or doing a month of mission work in another culture —you don’t have to become a different, braver person. You’re the same person you’ve always been. You just stopped waiting for someone else or the other ‘edgy’ you to give you permission.

Sometimes the leap is bigger. Other times, it’s quieter:

• Moving to a new town where you don’t know a soul.
• Launching your little online business after years of “almost.”
• Ending something in your life that isn’t working anymore—even if it’s comfortable.

You just wake up one day and think: Well, why not me? And then get going. Take the first small leap. Pack the bag. Or sign the lease. Or complete the registration. Just hop off that lilypad and get to leapin,’ right Frank?  

Some may be thinking that there’s some kind of internal rite of passage that has to happen before you can live boldly. But it’s not that dramatic. In my mind, it’s not. When you start to live boldly, you are still you, the you that you are right now, sitting here reading this post. You’re still doing your dishes. Buying toothpaste. Calling your sister. Only now, maybe you’re doing those things somewhere new, or with a different mindset or a new schedule, or with a different backdrop. A different heartbeat.

Here’s the deal: You don’t have to become someone else. Your personal desires, your aspirations, those things you’ve dreamed of, don’t have to be “somewhere over there” with you sitting over here pondering 🤔. You just have to decide. You don’t need to wait for the confidence, because once you get started, it’ll show up and follow you around. 😉 

You’re not applying to be brave and waiting for the results. You’re already you. 

You just go do the thing!

Amen, Frank?

Amen!

Love,

Jane