A Morning Resolve
Dear Frank,
I wouldn’t admit this to many people, but I thought I’d tell you. Here’s what happened today. Suffice it to say, I’m not proud of myself. 😉 but before you chastise me too severely, please read my lil disclaimer at the bottom of this letter.
This morning in church, I thought so, so many tacky things about the woman sitting next to me in the pew. I didn’t even need to look her way to see what all was going on there just 20” from my elbow. Frank, you would have been mortified.
Multiple times during the sermon, while all was quiet, she’d flail her pashmina (shawl) around dramatically. She’d fling it off her shoulders, arms high in the air, then give it a good pop (in my direction) to fold it neatly. After a few moments, she’d do a little shiver, swirl that shawl around her shoulders again and once more start the on/off process.
Next, she’d fan herself with the bulletin and sigh about her discomfort. During the hymns, she sang a loud and boisterous falsetto, yelling out her very own personalized version of a descant, warbling Alleluias way up into the rafters while the rest of us held on and maintained the melody as best we could. Frank, you know how much I love to sing Alleluias in church. After refraining for the six long weeks of Lent, by golly I want those Alleluias. This woman was messing up my whole experience.
With each of her antics I found myself scooting deeper and deeper into my seat, melting right into the corner of the pew, hoping to somehow disappear. I didn’t hear the sermon. Didn’t hear one word. I was planning what I would say to her if I could, and alternately studied the Order of Worship to see if I could work out my exit strategy.
I felt somewhat ashamed, but her dramatic, bird-like behavior was doing me in. “Lord, send the power,” I wryly said to myself — a phrase used often by my grandmother Allie Verta Chambers Kinard, who called out that phrase whenever she needed some extra strength. Throughout the sermon I bandied about the idea of letting this woman have it, then I’d think about letting her be who she is. Back and forth I went. Struggled with that last thought — letting her be who she is. Came to the conclusion that it wasn’t a bad idea. Let it be. Let her be. Bless her heart.
It felt better and better the more I thought about it. Compassion was sliding into place, thankfully.
Later in the day, I read in the “Forward Day by Day,” on the inside cover, a piece entitled “A Morning Resolve,” and it was a sort of confirmation and an encouragement to try to do things differently. React differently. So, that’s my plan, Frank. Hope I can stick with it. Here it is.
A Morning Resolve
I will try this day to live a simple, sincere and serene life, repelling promptly every thought of discontent, anxiety, discouragement, impurity, and self-seeking; cultivating cheerfulness, magnanimity, charity, and the habit of holy silence; exercising economy in expenditure, generosity in giving, carefulness in conversation, diligence in appointed service, fidelity to every trust, and a childlike faith in God.
My two biggest take-away words from that are: [highlight]magnanimity[/highlight] and [highlight]charity[/highlight]. I needed those words this morning. I have them now.
If you’d like to read the rest of “A Morning Resolve,” here ‘tis.
https://tinyurl.com/ya48yjpw
Love,
Jane
Note to readers:
Although a little distracted in the service, I wasn’t truly scheming to speak my piece to the woman described. In reality, I had a very warm conversation with that pleasant woman who had some problems with the temperature and who loves to sing out in church. By writing this tongue-in-cheek piece, I was poking fun at those of us (and most especially, myself) who, at times, want to fuss about the behavior of others ;-).
