Surrender

Hi Frank,

You’ve asked me before about my blog and how I choose my topics. My answer: An idea — a desire — bubbles up from inside, sort of sneaking up on me. Writing turns out to be a great way to release to the world, from head and heart, the thoughts that are brewing inside.

It’s somewhat akin to absentmindedly walking through the kitchen, seeing a pot simmering on the stove, watching for a moment, then walking away. Eventually, when it looks like it might start to overflow, I say ok, ok, and proceed to give it my full attention. Once doing so, I realize how much satisfaction there is in the making of the concoction.

Now, with the beginning of Lent, I’ve noticed the bubbles and it seems like it’s reached that point.

Bess and I were chatting about the Lenten season and she remembered a time in college (and I do, too) when what you gave up for Lent tended to have a lot to do with the desire to lose weight or improve your complexion, and so forth. No more carbs, no more sugar, 40 days without chocolate, etc.

Of course, when doing such things, it doesn’t necessarily mean watering down or ignoring the spiritual potential of sacrifice. The idea is not without merit. Anything done to totally shake up your world, to upend your typical behavioral processes is surely (hopefully) going to awaken those deeper parts of the heart and soul. It’d certainly be advantageous and a good thing to try.

Lent, for me, has always been a tough topic, a time of examining and shining a light on those aspects of Jane that I think could use improvement, then coming up with some ideas on how to take control of those monsters with discipline and fortitude. For these next forty days, I’d say, I will quit this bad habit or that one – the things I don’t love about myself. Out, out damn spot, I’d call to those enemies. After all, no one is going to do this for me. Therefore, take a deep breath and plunge right in.

So, Bess and I talked about our plans for this Lenten season. Cutting out social media would be good, she said with a grin and a raise of the eyebrow. Oh my, how will my day go, I thought. Perhaps it would cause me to fill my time with more edifying things. And if I didn’t fill up my newfound time with something else, perhaps the vacant moments would lead to circumspection, of all things. That would be a new experience.

As part of that idea, I went to find a book I could study during the process. Now, I am intrigued as I sit here in the early morning hours reading from a great one I picked up in the Grace Gift Shop yesterday, called A Season for the Spirit – Readings for the Days of Lent, by Martin L Smith. He gives me something new — a twist to my thinking — perhaps a different way of looking at things. If you’re in Charleston, you can pick up a copy at Gifts of Grace Bookstore, directions here:

https://www.gracechurchcharleston.org/directions-parking

or order online. Here’s the link to order a copy for yourself:

https://amzn.to/2XJf5cj

I enjoyed reading this part I’ll show you below – the part about “surrender”. Lately, I’ve been practicing a great old hymn on my viola entitled I Surrender All. There’ve been moments in life when I would sing it out pleadingly, pounding my fist, giving it all to God as best I could, asking Him to take the burden from my shoulders. At other times, I’ve sung it with joy, simply enjoying the comfort of resting in Him. Here’s a beautiful rendition of the piece by my one of my favorite violinists, Jaime Jorge.

In Martin Smith’s book, he says, regarding his Lenten thoughts and prayers:

“Perhaps this word “surrender” should be enough for my prayer. Not the surrender of submission to an enemy, but the opposite, the laying down of resistance to the One who loves me infinitely more than I can guess, the One who is more on my side than I am myself.”

From that, my understanding is that surrendering means letting go of control, letting go of those efforts to brutally discipline myself or deliberate on what to give up, what to cease in my life, what to perfect, what to fix.

Not that discipline doesn’t serve a purpose. It provides a focus and it’s what helps us accomplish our goals. Giving up something for Lent can serve as a moment by moment reminder to me, on a very personal level, of what sacrifice is all about.

At the same time, I can surrender and wait to see these forty days unfold as I give up myself to this great and wonderful opportunity, one of trust, of yielding, and of listening to the One who is on my side, the One who loves me, no matter what.

Love,

Jane