Starting Now

”Palliative care (derived from the Latin root palliare, or ‘to cloak’) is an interdisciplinary medical caregiving approach aimed at optimizing quality of life and mitigating suffering among people with serious, complex, and often terminal illnesses.”

Dear Frank,

I’m thinking about what more I could have done. You’d say, No, Jane, you couldn’t have known. But, there’s more to it than that. I couldn’t have known my friend was going into palliative care, but I could have come to my senses much earlier about something that matters so much. We hear frequently about those folks who wish they’d have told their loved friend or relative just what they meant to them. This time, I’ve been awakened. Now, I will do better. Starting now.

Thank you, John, for so much. Thank you for being a good, good friend. Thank you, especially, for giving me a big nudge today. I remember so many of your nudges, come to think of it! What an instrument you’ve been in our lives and in the lives of so many.

Thank you for serving as a catalyst for change. I will broadcast as often as possible, the love I have for my friends and family. Individually. With purpose.

Dear Ones, I’ll sing out with acknowledgment, with recognition, telling you what you mean to me. Rest assured, I won’t embarrass you; I won’t go nuts. But, in the small moments and the large, I’ll let you know the impact you make. Starting now. Get ready, you all. Here I come.

Love,

Jane

PS.  My side note of encouragement to you, dear reader: I feel that it’s never too late to broadcast your love. If you never took the opportunity to tell someone these things, take it now, no matter the circumstances. Perhaps it’s not the sort of thing you typically talk about with them, or even if your loved one is gone or otherwise out of your life, tell them; write your letter. 

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You can read my previous blog post regarding my friends, John and Debra, by clicking here. It was written when I first learned of his battle. John has been riding the waves of difficulties that cancer brought on. Now, new issues have reared their heads and have reached a place where they simply cannot be overcome. John’s doctors feel that they have come to the end of the line medically, with no further treatments that will reverse his condition. John has said that he wants to go to heaven. He has fought hard. So, now they’ve transitioned him to palliative care.

Thankfully, I have been given this opportunity. I’ve written a note to John, telling him how much he means to all of us. I was hoping I wasn’t too presumptuous in thinking there would be an opportunity for it to be shared with him during this difficult time. Debra immediately wrote back, assuring me that she will read it to him.  If you’d like to read it, I’ve included it below.   

Hi John. It’s Jane. I wrote another blog post about you. Hope you don’t mind! This time, it’s telling about the impact your current situation has made in my life, the lives of my children and surely, in the lives of all who know you. Clearly, you’re an example to all of us regarding the life God wants us to live. I want you to know right now that you are loved and respected by more folks than we can even count.

It’s so evident that God has always worked in your life, John, using you to help others in so many ways. Your talent and expertise as a lawyer has beautifully aided countless numbers of clients in their legal matters. You’ve always been one to “do the right thing.” Your wisdom and focus on the ethics, the morals of life, have steered me and so many others in the right direction. Your deep concern over fairness, justice, and the welfare of others, stands out as one of your strongest characteristics  

My children and I, time and time again, have benefited from your pragmatism, your care and concern. You take the extra step: the call on the phone, the letter, and meeting in person, to discuss and find solutions to any concern that anyone has. And you top it off with humor. In the midst of the most serious of matters, you’ve  always made us smile.

You and Debra are a great team as you’ve ministered to others through life. Your love for each other shines forth. Your children have learned so much from you about the best life to live, and clearly they are so well-loved and cared for. You have such a big, big heart!

I am sorry that you are having to go through so much to try to get that body to working properly. Everyone you know, and many you don’t know, are praying for peace and comfort for you as you take this journey. In the midst of this, know that the Lord is smiling down on you.

John, my friend, you’ve worked hard and now it’s a good time to rest and allow yourself to be taken care of.  

Sending love from all of us,

Jane

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love him.”  I Cor. 2:9